The Future is Looking Bright!

April 15th, 2022

As expected I found myself down south visiting the family! I turned down some contracts and gave some tentative maybes but I have officially made some decisions on what the next few months have in store for me and I guess you will have to just stick around to find out! As for the drive down south after packing my apartment let’s just say it consisted of a tornado, amazing barbecue, several more state high points, and some super cool airbnbs!

Just checking in!

April 2nd, 2022

I often blog as much for my own mental health as for your entertainment. I find myself writing here when I am down, or “stuck in my head” and often it helps me sort out my thoughts.

So where am I today? Well I am sitting at a hotel bar back in Indiana, exactly where I was working about three months ago. I guess the real question is how did I end up here? If I’m being honest I’m not completely sure! after being home a little over two weeks I realized that I no longer belonged in Youngstown. I found myself feeling trapped and very quickly falling back into old routines and habits that I managed to break prior to coming home. The idea of post trip depression was very true! I spent the last six months on a pretty grand adventure, managing to drive all of the country… literally and here I am right back where I started! So I decided one day to pack up my apartment, put everything in storage load up the Jeep and hit the road.. I have no real plan and even less of an idea where I am going to go! Realistically I will probably end up down south visiting family for a bit but then the sky is the limit! Until then here’s a sneak peak at how I can home from California… see if you can guess the route!

January 20, 2022

The West Coast and New Memories

So, today, I find myself sitting with my toes in the Pacific Ocean, waiting for the sun to set over Seal Beach, California. I often catch myself wondering how I ended up in these spots. I was told for years that I wouldn’t be able to make a living traveling, and even if I did it would be a lonely existence, but again, I say, here I am sitting on the Pacifc Ocean, making better money then I ever have, and I have met people that I feel closer to then many that I have known much much longer. People that travel are a special breed. We know the impermanence of the world in a way many only think they do. Often, we find ourselves cherishing the little moments more and more. Things like impromptu dinners with new friends, midnight conversations about the world, failed zoo trips, or Oranges and Tea shared over a hospital exam table become the memories you hold on to. Even though those ”goodbyes” are sad in the moment, the memories are always there. The “goodbye” is the opportunity for more memories, and the best part is; one day, in a foreign place, completely unexpectedly, you will run back into those people and pick up right where you left off. So, how did I end up in this spot enjoying an 80 degree day, while back ”home” everyone is buried under 2 feet of snow? I still don’t know but I couldn’t be happier!

The Mother Road

Alright, so where have I been the last week or so? Well, I finished my assignment on the military base in Indiana; so you guys can expect a post on this soon, because it was the single most inspirational and life changing experience I have ever had! Now my crazy streak struck again, and I drove across the country…..again! I’m currently sitting in L.A, after driving Route 66 from Chicago to Santa Monica Pier! This was something I always wanted to do, and because of a work opportunity I was able to finally accomplish this totally unexpectedly! So, once I get some sleep, and get accustomed to being here I’ll get the new posts and pictures up!

December 22nd, 2021

The Path Life Chooses not the Path You Choose

A little over three months ago I took a leap into the unknown, and took a travel paramedic contract about seven hours from home. I still can’t go into too many details on this blog about it for confidentiality reasons right now, but I assure you it will take up several posts once I am able to. Instead, we will focus, for a second, on how this decision affected my mental health and my outlook on life. Before I left I was involved in several very toxic friendships, in an area that, for everything it gave me in the past, was now sucking the life out of me. I felt trapped, lethargic, and underwhelmed with life. I had no inspiration and no idea how to remove myself from the environment. Worst of all; I was scared that if I disrupted the status quo, I would lose friendships and people that I placed so much energy into. The insidious part of all this was I didn’t even realize any of it at the time. What I did realize was that what I was doing wasn’t working. It took me almost three years of depression and false friendships, to get to a point where I could just say “f*&k this I’m out!” I began applying for the jobs furthest away from where I lived, not based on money or benefits, but based on things being “different” or “interesting”. Who would have guessed that one of these would actually call me back? At one point I was on the phone with the recruiter and commented that I didn’t actually expect to make it this far into the hiring process; her response was epic and subtle at the same time. She said, “well everyone says that at this point.” So a short time later I quit my job and was checking into a hotel in another state; to start a job that I had no idea what I was doing. Admittedly, during this entire process I was terrified, questions like, “what if ‘So and So’ doesn’t want to keep talking to me?” or “What if this or that friendship ‘fail’ because I leave?”, ran through my head. Imagine my terror when all those things actually happened?! Friends I thought would be around forever, became complete a$$holes in the matter of a few weeks, people stopped reaching out and stopped making time to hangout when I went ‘home’ (crazy how the meaning of this word changes overtime). I started to see EVERYONE’S true colors, both good and bad, in the matter of the first month. This was one of the hardest pills I had to swallow, because people I thought I knew, showed that they weren’t even close to the caliber of person I wanted in my life. This forced me, for the first time in a very long time, to actually stand up for myself. I told these friends that I didn’t want them around my life, I stopped calling or texting, and I stopped making time for them when I went back to Youngstown. This felt absolutely terrifying because society paints it to be selfish to choose yourself; it tells you that you should forgive everyone, and be open to everything because if you don’t put others first then you are the problem. However, let me ask you something, who is there for you at your very lowest, on your worst night, when your loneliest? YOU and that’s it. So why not be your own best friend? I use to say to people that I if I knew someone who treated me the way I treated myself, I would never have them in my life. The constant self doubt and negative self dialogue was deafening and worst of all I thought it was normal. “I’m a guy no one cares about our feelings or emotions or mental state so why should I care about my own?” “Box it up and put it away because no one has time for that nonsense!” were thoughts that would routinely pass through my head. I got to a point where one day, I had enough of my own shit, and decided to change my outlook on things. I know that sounds ‘too simplistic’, but it’s really that SIMPLE…… it’s just not that EASY. Now, several months later, I have to admit, I have truly met some of the greatest people I have known up to now, people with a back story and hardship that, until now, you and I could never imagine. I have freed myself from feeling ‘trapped’ in an extremely small minded community, and I have more opportunities ahead of me right now then I ever have! I never would have guessed that losing the friends, who I was so terrified to let go of, would be exactly what I needed in my life, and allowed me to grow even closer to the people that still cherish my company! Best of all, this is all directly because of a single decision to step out of the way and allow life, or the universe, or God, or whatever you may title your belief to take over. You may have plans for your life, and that’s absolutely wonderful! However, when every door is being closed in front of you maybe it’s time to just say “f&$k it” and let life take you to a window instead!

December 8th, 2021

Choose Your Happiness

This time last year, I found myself unhappy, and very sad with several friendships, after coming back from a week long trip in Saint Croix. I allowed my depression to get the best of me and instead of enjoying an absolutely beautiful trip, I sulked most of the trip. (More on this in a later post) A year before that I found a girlfriend and I breaking up for something like the 3rd time. No one ever accused me of being very smart in the aspect of relationships, I usually say that it takes me three or four times to actually learn a lesson. This year I turned the negative around, I took off and spent a week in Key West, a place that holds a special spot in my heart! I met several more amazing people down there (which will be a recurring thing on all my ‘Keys’ trips) and enjoyed absolutely amazing food as always! I was also met by two amazing friends, to share my “home away from home” with! Choose to be happy and choose to turn your life around! Only you can place meaning on the things that happen in your life! See you in the next post!