It’s been quiet here.
Maybe too quiet.
Which usually means one of two things: I’m either dead or working.

Lucky for you, it’s the latter.

I disappeared for a bit. The difference is it was Not in the dramatic way this time. No spirals, no binges, no middle-of-the-night flights to some far-off country. Just a slow fade that happens when you’re diving deep into bettering yourself. I have been back to living the calls instead of writing about them. And for the first time in a long time, I needed to shut the hell up and listen. Listen to the patients, to my gut, to the parts of myself I’d been ignoring.

I took a contract in southern Oregon. Small town. Big problems. One of those contracts where you’re supposed to be “just covering shifts,” but you end up right back in it. Midnight codes in people’s kitchens, overdoses in gas station bathrooms, trauma calls that spill into the rig before you can even turn the lights on. It was supposed to be temporary. A paycheck. Something to do while I figured what came next.

But I found something I wasn’t expecting:
That I still love this job.

That was confusing, honestly.
Because as all of you know this job also broke me. And I’d spent years building an entire life around walking away from it. Thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, Antarctica, travel contracts, blog posts about burnout and healing. I thought I was done.

But the first time I slid into the ambulance seat again and heard the radio crackle?
It all came rushing back.

Turns out, I don’t hate EMS.
I just hated the version of it that was killing me.

The version that gave me no sleep, no support, no room to breathe. But this new version of myself I found over the last few years sees it different. Plus working for a small but sharp team that actually gave a damn has made a difference. The agency I contracted with didn’t just throw me into the system and forget about me. They checked in. They backed me up. And for the first time in a long time, I felt seen by the people signing the checks.

The leadership was real. The crews were tight. The job was still brutal, but at least it felt like we were all in it together. Don’t get me wrong they have their problems and anyone who knows the agency I speaking of will laugh at this post when they read it. But all EMS agencies have their problems. It is just a matter of finding the problems you don’t mind dealing with. Plus one thing that Having worked across the nation has shown me is the grass isn’t always greener on the other side!

And I guess they saw something in me, too.
Because they offered me a “real person job.”

I accepted.

I’m proud to say I accepted a flight paramedic position with that same agency.

This wasn’t just a career move. It is an evolution of a medic who spent years trying to outrun the burnout. Now I’m back in.

Flight programs are different. They provide a focus on education allowing me to grow as a medic.

I’m not going in cocky. I’ve seen the arrogance it takes to kill someone in this job. I am scared again. The feeling of being out of my comfort zone is strong. It reminds me of those first days as a brand new EMT where I didn’t know anything.

At the same time, I’ve been back in school full-time, working towards my medical school goals. That’s right, your favorite burned-out travel medic is now elbows-deep in biochem and study guides.

Alyssa and I also made a hard call:
We are not going back to Antarctica this season.

No snow. No 24-hour sun. No late-night bakery sessions with Alyssa.
And it hurts. More than I expected.
But I’ve got work to do here.

And Rescue and Redemption?
It’s not dead. I have been editing it and figuring out how to do it better. Obviously everyone knows it didn’t fund on kickstarter so now it’s up to me to edit and publish it. The amount of support I received while trying to fund it was huge and humbling!

The stories are still coming. The book is still happening. But I had to live a few more chapters before I could write them. That’s the cost of authenticity you don’t get to fake it I guess.

Thanks to those of you who stuck around while I went quiet. I’m still here. Still climbing. Still listening.

And now I’ve got a flight suit, a stack of textbooks, and a heart that somehow—miraculously—isn’t done yet.

Let’s see where this chapter goes.

– Johnny

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